26
Abortion doctors are IRL spawn campers
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n7941k/abortion_doctors_are_irl_spawn_campers/
4
If you’re watching a tennis match you could say, you are watching two people have sets. Which is funny, to say.

Submission statement; I find it similar to, saying pianist.

3
Evolution favors offspring who kick their fathers in the balls, as well as fathers who will forgive their offspring for this

Human offspring who sterilize their parents stand the chance to receive more resources from them without sharing, but only if the parents forgive and don't retailiate

41
Legs should have two 'g's because there's two of them.
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n6oofq/legs_should_have_two_gs_because_theres_two_of_them/
1
Just unfollowed God, sick of his bullshit
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n79yjn/just_unfollowed_god_sick_of_his_bullshit/
2
Casablanca (The Spanish White House)

Right?

48
A billion seems much higher than 100m because it is
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n62czr/a_billion_seems_much_higher_than_100m_because_it/
1
Lobster Bisque is basically just a lobster smoothie served hot.
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n6mvpa/lobster_bisque_is_basically_just_a_lobster/
0
Beef burgers are vegan cuz cows are made of plants.
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n6kzb2/beef_burgers_are_vegan_cuz_cows_are_made_of_plants/
5
People trust god so much that if god raped kids ppl would say god must have had a good reason
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n66bg1/people_trust_god_so_much_that_if_god_raped_kids/
50
You cannot spell basements without putting semen in the bats

You cannot spell basements without putting semen in the bats

1
Jesus was a heretic but most of his followers are a bunch of sheeple
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n5w1ny/jesus_was_a_heretic_but_most_of_his_followers_are/
2
popping bottles in the ice, like a blizzard. My favorite part of chicken is the gizzards because chickens kinda fly like G6, now I'm also feeling fly like a G6
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n5oi93/popping_bottles_in_the_ice_like_a_blizzard_my/
2
Nicole Kidman should change her name to Nicole Adultwoman
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n5k3rf/nicole_kidman_should_change_her_name_to_nicole/
2
When the sun is felt and the moon is not, the cheese will melt and the meat will rot

native american poem about mcdonald

10
people named Connor can say they are ACAB
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n57k2c/people_named_connor_can_say_they_are_acab/
6
It doesnt make you gay just cuz you're a man saving your butthole for a certain other man... if you plan to hide in a tree and shit on him by surprise
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n544ns/it_doesnt_make_you_gay_just_cuz_youre_a_man/
20
The less you can guess what the job is about from the name, the more it pays
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n4kje6/the_less_you_can_guess_what_the_job_is_about_from/
0
Are you an antirapist? Hell no! Then you are FOR rape you son of a bitch. Im AGAINST it. But you had to be against anything with the word rape in it you damn nonantirapist.

Well youre an antinonantirapist. That i am you asshole.

3
You make out with your food when you eat it.
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n4emiz/you_make_out_with_your_food_when_you_eat_it/
23
Geese are just big, asshole ducks.
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n3yx2n/geese_are_just_big_asshole_ducks/
1
Instead of wasting time doing counter productive stuff like creating vaccines that save the lives of people that annoy me, science should do something actually useful, like genetically engineering a real life dick butt.
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n4altd/instead_of_wasting_time_doing_counter_productive/
9
Most people don't know the dance moves to their country's national anthem.
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n3yu33/most_people_dont_know_the_dance_moves_to_their/
48
Incest is when people in the same family fuck eachother. Hate to break it to you mom and dad but youre in the same family
https://old.reddit.com/r/shittyshowerthoughts/comments/n3jvlk/incest_is_when_people_in_the_same_family_fuck/
1
cause of usa's screwed up politics found. "If you're an American citizen and of voting age you can vote. You can't be denied the right to vote because you're drunk or high" --Eric Johnson. Have our leaders been voting in laws this way?