It beats my usual: “Hey Jackass, watch out!!!”
“Did you notice how the hook is sticking out of your eyelid? How does that make you feel?”
Not gonna lie, most of these sound like veiled threats from a serial killer.
"Look at that rock over there. Look how slippery it is and the big drop nearby. Can you see your friends getting closer? Can you hear the rushing of the water down over the rocks below, and the sighing of the wind? It's such a long fall. Are you feeling scared?"
"Can you hear me licking my lips?"
“Now can you hear me licking your lips?”
“Now can you hear the my pants zipper?”
"the my pants"
Listen man, grammar aren’t needed.
Hello? FBI?... Yeah, this one right here.
Don’t worry, you’ll get a turn ;)
Does it sound like there’s anyone else around to hear us? How far do you think you’d have to run till you could find someone to help?
How long do you think you could run in a forest?
Do you think you're good at hiding?
Which way do you think is back to civilization?
What would you do if you got lost?
How long do you think you could live without food?
Do you think anyone would hear if you scream?
Oh man, this gave me a great idea for a mindfuck scary story.
Now I wanna write with these in mind
Torture dance intensifies
Vocal precaution on whole nother level
Coming from my mind
also it’s percussion, hope this helps
Given the guide though, you've gotta admit that version still fits as well.
True. I missed the joke.
I think they intentionally used “precaution”, given the post
Yea, I missed the joke there.
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am...
"Are you... fucking sorry; do you like that, retard?"
do you like that, retard?
do you like that, retard?
Reddit has completely corrupted me
The other one is also a reference.
Damn from 6 years ago, that really stuck with you
Always upvote that green text reference.
Try using your... hands, feet, arms, legs to pull it out
Don't use another fish hook, though.
“Are you feeling scared/excited/safe?”
"It's really important that you retain your strong eyesight and keep your eyeballs in their socket."
"Make sure the blood is flowing inside the arteries of your head."
"Can you still see your friends?"
"Hey, over here!"
This is literally something my grandpa would say. Spell the situation out for you to make sure you know what a complete fucking idiot you are. Ahhh memories.
“Now what’s your plan?”
look me in my brand new
I just had flash backs to fishing trips with my dad
Me too, Jackass. Kiss mom for me, I’ll be home one of these days. Maybe.
I usually got the "Eres pendejo", with the disappointed head nod.
I have been using this on my kid, whenever i want her to concentrate on the task at hand. I think it works. She has only lost 3 toes and an arm so far. Could've been worse.
Hi, this is Jackass and i'm gonna use these fireworks, and a broken shopping cart, for my next adventure, stay tuned!
Walk it off...
That's a shame
Every time I talked back to my dad, he would say: “do you see this boot about to be put up your ass.”
Was your dad Red Foreman?
He was almost a clone of red foreman. But with that being said, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My dad loved to tell me he should have knocked me over the head and raised a bull calf.
My dad was a hellion and his dad told him once they should have drowned him as a baby lol.
Thank god you added /s or I would have actually thought you were asking if his dad was a fictional character.
I don't think you need the /s I'm pretty sure he was actually quoting the show.
Humour aside, people who aren't fluent in English or reddit sarcasm need the /s.
Also neurodiverse people.
"do you wanna catch these hands"
Are you feeling... scared?
Are you feeling... scared?
Keep it up and you're gonna be walking down the street with 3 feet. Two on the ground and one up yo ass!
Ah the good ol positive reinforcement
Who will... remove this foot from in your ass?
Do you see... this boot, up your ass, swiftly?
"Do you see that cliff there?"
"Yes!" starts running towards the cliff
"notice how you fell off"
Notice how.... you fell off, you broke every bone in your body.
“How will you.... move now that you’re in a full body cast?”
Who will help you if... both your arms are broken?
Who is... gonna pay billion dollar hospital check?
A social country where healthcare is free to the point where little money paid covers all the expenses you might come in need of?
God dammit. Every thread.
alright man I’m gonna have to ask you to STOP
What’s your plan for the next time you see a cliff?
Maybe you should try... using telekinesis!
Do you feel anything below your waist?
"try using your hands, feet, arms, legs"
Try spinning. That is a good trick!
For young kids, these should all be prefaced with "Freeze!".
Plus, these encourage activity and engagement, rather than just being terrified of everything.
telling your kid to be careful shouldn't make them terrified. if it does, well, you're doing it wrong.
Obviously this guide isn't necessarily for everyone. But I definitely know some parents who tell their kids to "be careful" all the time, for big and small threats, and I think it contributes to the child developing a general outlook that the world is a place to constantly be on guard. I think this guide is a great way to get those parents out of that mentality and actually have them explain things to their children rather than just constantly triggering the "warning" response.
Forget 26, that’s not even necessary for a 12 year old.
Just out of curiosity, do you think of yourself now as a very anxious/nervous person?
Hey I have anxiety and depression too, and my parents brought me up and continue parenting similarly. Very interesting thread for sure..
Interesting. I haven't been diagnosed but I'm pretty sure I have at least a mild form of anxiety, and my mother is very similar
Yeah but you know the instant you try to say anything it’d go “Look mom, I’m a grown assed adult. I think I can tell if paving stones are !!SPLAT!!” [as you faceplant]
My mom would tell me shit like "Look at what's around you" instead of guiding me to specific things and "Watch your step" instead of pointing out specific obstacles. It taught me to be aware of my body and the space I'm in rather than make me paranoid of everything around me or expect adults to point out every problem and the solution.
But I think it really depends on the kid and the adult. Saying "Be careful" isn't the devil but anything overused will be tuned out or taken to a further point of caution than necessary.
Drives me crazy when parents tell kids "be careful" or "move your hand" and not why. Their kids usually need to be reminded a dozen times to stop doing the thing because they don't see the reason why. I always tell my kid "move your hand or it will get pinched in that moving part" and he immediately moves his hand and doesn't do it again because he understands why. Been doing that since he was a baby and he seems to be way smarter about things like that than his cousins, who just stick their hands into moving wheels (literally saw them do that last week).
Feel like it’s luck of the draw. Some kids you can explain to but only experience will teach.
Man, if you think it's bad now that he's putting his hand in stupid places, wait till he starts using his dick.
It doesn't scare them but doesn't do much to help them either
And “be careful” is an oft-repeated cliché that loses meaning over time. Eventually kids will tune it out.
am I the only one that thought lava would be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be?
All people are different. And by saying that if by telling your kid to be careful and it makes them afraid, insinuating they’re doing a bad job of parenting is a dick move on your part. Maybe you didn’t mean it that way, but that’s how it came off.
For example if I tell my boy to be careful, he freezes thinks of all the worst things and then makes a plan or asks. My girl is like fuuuuuckkkk youuuuu YOLO! Haha.
People are people. Don’t get it twisted.
True, mine’s is the kind that asks, “Why?” She likes to know the reason for everything. It’s great but I always have to have an answer ready!
Kids don’t know what be careful means. You have to break it down for them. Is it because there is an unseen danger, is it because they aren’t concentrating, is it because it’s a skill they haven’t mastered yet?
Saying be careful is taking a shortcut when you could be giving them much better information to deal with what they are trying to do.
I am a pretty good example of how telling your kid to be careful does absolutely make them more anxious and worried about safety. When you watch our childhood videos, in the background you constantly hear my mother saying be careful be careful be careful be careful. This graphic is not tsaying never use that phrase, but really try to diversify how you talk to kids. As an adult I definitely have safety based anxiety from how my mom constantly worried and said be careful
That’s why I don’t tell them to be careful
I just scream in vicarious terror while they play
Getting your child to "be careful" isn't a immediate call for danger or to be afraid. It is a call for attention or alertness (Well at least for me). They should be allowed to figure out what is and adults should be just teaching them what they see when the kid misses it...
I'd rather my kids be overly cautious and figure out how to be aware on their own vs always needing an adult to tell them what to watch out for.
"Be careful. There's ice over there." (Danger)
"Be careful. That's fragile." (No Danger)
If they look at me weird or ask what's the need for care. I give them ways to "be careful" and why they should follow my instruction.
"Don't run on that ice, it's slippery and you'll possibly fall."
"Hold it gently and with both hands so it doesn't break."
The goal is ultimately that they figure it out on their own. If they screw it up and got a scuffed knee in their own attempts of "being careful" that's ok.
I comfort them, talk them through what happened and what they should learn from it...
Can I climb that tree, dad? Sure, but take care with the thinner branches.
Can I go look for rock pools over there? Sure, but be careful wet rocks can be slippery.
We’re going to ride down this trail, be careful with the rock garden after the trees and the jump at the last corner.
I say be careful to my kids all the time. They don’t appear to be terrified, they just take care when they’re doing potentially risky things.
What's your plan?
What's your plan?
This question is golden because it requires the person to examine possible outcomes and communicate to other people. I work in a pretty dangerous industry and I ask this question all the time because it can be useful in multiple scenarios to help everyone involved get on the same page and work together, even if it's an experienced person in a non-sketchy situation.
Same thing in aviation- I teach people how to fly unmanned aircraft and every few hours you’ll hear me ask “what’s your plan if you lose link here?” Or “what’s your plan if your engine fails right now?” To get people into the habit of continuously planning for emergencies
Or you just use both?
Hey, be careful. See that etc etc etc? What happens if etc etc etc?
It's not a pick one or the other, you Can do both. Despite how people act.
I have a 3 year old and I do exactly this. A good example is she likes to help make macaroni and cheese. I have to tell her repeatedly to be careful because the stove is hot and she will burn her hands. Shouting at your kids to be careful and not explaining why doesnt help. I think it's good to always try and give a kid an explanation even if they wont necessarily understand it.
Right. Sometimes kids move too quick and you need the “be careful” to stop them from moving and slipping, falling, etc.
Starting off with an explanation will take too much time
Yeah I feel it's best to have a common trigger words that mean there's danger here, you need to listen to this. Kids are simple in some ways like that. It's kinda like throwing out a dog command, it helps when it's always the same word for certain actions.
This. My daughter is nearly 2, just started walking confidently but we do say "be careful of that step, etc" she repeats it back to us and carefully steps over or whatever she is doing. Shes not discouraged or scared but understands. I guess this guide is aimed at older kids though.
The ‘guide’ is very idealistic. When my kids are about to do something potentially dangerous, ‘be careful’ is about as much as I can get out before going over to them because I don’t really have the time to give little life lessons if I genuinely think they’re in danger... I’ll explain what that danger was once it’s no longer there.
Yeah. I’m a very proactive dad but this post is dumb. Being careful is a skill they need to learn and identify specifically. I like them as things to say with be careful, but this is like saying “what to say instead of ‘be kind’”
This was written by someone who was not currently speaking with a toddler or a young child.
My kid is running toward traffic. Let's not use discouraging language...
"Hey Peter! Notice that car..." SMACK.
I'm not saying this is a bad guide, I like it, but there's honestly nothing wrong with saying "be careful".
Theres nothing wrong, however it's best to follow up with an explanation as to why. It's an easy teaching moment that shouldn't be passed up.
"Be careful" might not have much meaning to some younger children, depending on the scenario. A lot of kids (and just human beings in general) learn by making mistakes. Saying "be careful" in an unfamiliar situation where the child has no idea how to approach it is not going to be as helpful to them as explaining what to do.
"Be careful" might not have much meaning to some younger children
"Be careful" might not have much meaning to some younger children
if they can't understand the meaning of that, then neither will they understand "hey you see that moss over there?"
Realistic consequences: If you fall off into the water you'll be covered in goose poo.
"Be careful" is either too effective or not effective at all.
Too effective = the kid will be scared of everything.
Not effective = the kid will still be tempted to do it and will do it eventually.
Children are not that stupid, explaining to them why they should be careful is the way to go imo. If they still do it, well that's a lesson learned and they know why they shouldn't have done it.
After visiting r/kidsarefuckingstupid there’s A TON of evidence to the contrary so ALL kids are stupid, no fallacy here.
Kids are in the process of learning how to not be stupid. If you don't foster that, they'll end up as stupid adults.
As a stupid adult, I endorse this statement.
Also there's always that joke where a kid is going to touch something that will slightly hurt it, the mom keeps saying "Stop that, don't touch that!" while the dad goes "touch that and see what happens.."
I prefer a middle-of-the-road approach: "You can touch that if you want, but I wouldn't recommend it."
After visiting a dog store, theres A TON of evidence that all life on earth is dogs.
Well, a portion is really stupid. But the objective is to teach them not to be that stupid. I can tell you that some children are very intelligent for their age, some understand stuff that you won't expect them to understand after several years.
A child (5) was very curious about something he heard and I had to explain him transgender people. I was very surprised about how comprehensive he was. Seems very over the top but it is very real, he heard a conversation about it because a transgender woman was beaten in the streets in the TV news and the parents (my parents' friends) were talking about it.
I don't, too young for that ahah. I'm only 17. But I had to manage some children because the parents wanted to play a game between adults for example (during the New Year's festivities). That's just observations I made. I was also raised with that kind of mindset.
Maybe, I'm preparing for it! I have time to have children but I'm thinking about it now.
Every time I see these well thought out practices for better parenting I think: "I'm going to try to incorporate this into my day-to-day".
In reality: "Be careful!"
Yeah and in my case we have a 2 year old and he honestly just runs around crashing into things and falling all over the place, so stopping him and saying "did you notice that table you just ran into?" isnt quite the same as trying to get them to stop being such a wild animal lol
Yeah I feel like its a good idea in theory its very complex for how often kids try to hurt them selves lol.
If I told my niece to "try moving your feet strongly" I think I'd just get a quizzical look.
Can you hear the singing birds, singing the song of Angry Birds...
By the time I m done saying it, my kids (4 and 3) , would be injured.
I have to make the best of both methods. I yell "watch out", and then once they froze and actually listen I start the long sentences making them aware of the environment, what, why, and make it a teaching moment.
Try moving... your feet carefully
Try moving... your feet carefully
Does that not imply the same thing as "Be careful"?
Yes, it implies to practice caution, but isn’t as vague as just saying “be careful.” Telling someone to “be careful” doesn’t teach them HOW to be careful. By giving the specific suggestion (feet) it provides some guidance that enables people to have a better understanding of their bodies and how to navigate specific problems. They focus on their feet and instinctively become more aware of what they’re doing, moving more slowly and watching out for obstacles to that specific area.
Not as good as try moving your feet strongly
I asked my six year old this morning what his plan was to cross a large mud puddle on a trail and suggested a log.
He jumped in the puddle.
I work in Early Childhood Education and this is part of the foundational language we use during risky play. It’s NOT meant for when your child is running into traffic or about to touch the fire. Ideally, you’re close by when they’re young, and when they start venturing off by themselves and participating in risky play, they have the skills to judge situations themselves. Children tune out a canned response like ‘Be careful’, and what does that phrase specifically tell them? Nothing. Be careful how? What do I do to be careful?
I work with ages 1-2 years and use this language with them every day because we love risky play. It’s so great for their development. You can say, “You’re standing high up on the tyre. Do you feel wobbly? Put your arms out to help you balance.”
The armchair experts in this thread are hilarious.
This is such good advice! I have two young ones and I'm going to make a conscious effort to do this. Thanks for posting this!
"Hey jimmy, notice how you're drowning in that undertow. Maybe next time you wont be a jackass. And now you've drowned. Maybe a shorter line would have saved your life and instead I'm trying to come up with key words to help you understand the importance of not dying. "
🎶 Have you ever heard the rushing water, the singing birds, the wind?
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grins? 🎶
This is dumb
It really is
-- Be Careful!
-- Do you see your friends nearby?
The fuck is this?
I've been told that you try and keep these things positive and specific. Forget "No touching" and say "Please keep your hands to yourself." When I am dealing with guests in an informal ed situation, I usually ask for "walking feet" from small kids.
Where will you climb that tree?
My best friend and I talk to our kids like this and so many times we've been chastised for "baby talking" them or being too soft. The kids learn their lesson though!!! No need to blame or guilt them for doing toddler things.
Sometimes as parents we want our kids to be cautious when doing things but we don’t know how to show them HOW to be cautious and what to do in different situations
Dora the Explorer style
"Snake, try to remember some of the basics of CQC"
"BOY", Pull your own weight or we go home.
I sit back and wonder so often how my parents managed to instill excellent spatial awareness and common sense into me. My mother was a marriage family therapist before she retired and I think her using this kind of encouragement and thinking language helped foster that constructive and critical part of my brain. I highly recommend this guide to any parents. That and using creator/me language. When you feel upset by someone, dont use accuse language. Bo "You did this and blah blah", but instead "I feel like ___ when this happened"
I get this, but “be careful” does a lot in 3 syllables when something is imminent.
Here is my problem with this guide: Parents will use these questions on children too young to understand the context or consequences of what is happening. Some parents have unreasonable expectations of their child's brain development. For example, before age 6 kids do not really understand consequences. So explaining X causes Y does very little to connect an action with a consequence in a child's mind.
Now, there is no harm in explaining. The problem I have personally witnessed is a parent explains the situation but never directly instructs the child to stop. And so the child does it again. When this happens on a train, plane, or bus is can be aggravating to the other passengers who just want said behavior to stop when it is inconveniencing them.
Notice how that Pitbull is angry, try moving your feet quickly, do you see your dad leaving? What will you do if he catches you? Do you feel the pain from his bite? What will you do if he kills you?
"How to raise a bunch of whiney pussies."
There I fixed your stupid title.
If only your parents read the “how to not raise a giant dumbass” post
does sound stupid but so are kids unless they understand why they should be careful
I mean this is a great way to increase your kids vocabulary
Joke's on you, I'm not allowed within 500ft of kids
Or any schools.
This is like one of those poem in the English exercise book.
What made you... Vote for a clown into high office?
Are you...now regretful as his (sole) tactic of talking out his ass doesn't work on viruses?
Will you....become a tasty meat snack for Covid-19 as a result of your foolishness?
I'm 27 and I'll probably work this into my inner monologue. Gotta be nicer to myself.
"don't be careful, be mindful and focus on what you are doing".
Kids should use problem solving and critical thinking as much as possible and parents should encourage and sway them to as much as possible.
This is a lot of critical thinking to deploy when my child is about to fall down the stairs
Where is the repeat 7 times part? "Don't do that, no, don't do it... Don't, no, DON'T! STOP DAMMIT!"
You ever met one of those parents who stay mostly silent, then afterwards give their kid the “and what did we learn?”.
As a child, I was aware of and annoyed by condescension by around age 9, and all of this sounds like the kind of things that would get an immediate smart-assed reply. "What's your plan if you climb that boulder" "Well gee I was planning to slip and break my neck? How's that sound?" Or at least that's how I like to imagine I would've been.
Who will help you if you stick that fork in the outlet. Sure as shit won’t be me
Try moving strongly...?
Jesus Christ. Just let them figure it out themselves like kids have done for the last million years. Stop trying to brainwash them. They’ll figure it out.
So in essence, ask open-ended questions. This is how I was trained to talk to adult customers.
Me to the blind kid in a wheelchair: Do you see the poison ivy, your friends nearby? Try moving your feet carefully, quickly, strongly.
Place a hand light on their shoulder and ask:
"Do you feel in control?"
This is so stupid
My parent used to throw '70's cocktail parties in the backyard by the lake and LOVED playing lawn darts... IN THE DARK... believe me when I tell you if they said,"watch out! Be careful!", children lunged for cover in the tornado drill position... nothing makes you aware quite like a five inch spike of unknown position...
"Notice how those rocks- god dammit Johnny, couldn't even let me finish before cracking your skull open on them?"
This is also super passive aggressive. You should still say be careful, notice how those rocks are slippery.