Now you can properly defend your thesis.
Stand and face me cowards! If you would have my thesis then come and claim it!
This is supposed to be an academic inquiry!
Wait I think I know this skit
From the movie 300?
Haha, how have I never seen this before
Because it's made by Brigham Young University, which is famously Mormon.
Mormons aren't exactly known for their humor.
Scott Sterling would disagree
You’ve gotta have a sense of humor to go in on that golden plate in Utah nonsense.
Then you shall inquire at the pearly gates! stab!!
Thou fool! Did you really think Stanford would just hand out a doctorate so easily?
Sounds like an xkcd
Edit: close enough
“I demand a trial by combat!”
As a guy who does bladesports, I am now very interested in going to a Finnish university for my PhD.
Given that my usual sparring partner is a blacksmith I like my odds.
Phd in losers? No thanks, you can have it.
The Quickening INTENSIFIES...
In Finnish University, you graduate or you die.
How do you graduate as top of your class?
If you areable to kill one of the proffesors testing you.
Then would you not now have to become the professor?
Yes, that seems very much top of class. Though of course that means you would have to fight the other students of your class, so if any one of them kill you, then they become top of class.
As I’ve mentioned, I like my odds.
You keep what you kill, it's the Finnish Necromonger way.
What kind of question is that?
You just have to climb to the top of the corpse-pile once you've disposed of everyone else in ritual academic combat.
Granted, it can get tricky if you're in a large class.
Not if I cut them into properly sized chunks.
Now you're thinking like a true doctoral candidate.
Fuckit, just go industrial blender. CLASS GO BRRRRRRR
No no no. That nicks the blade on bone, you have to carefully slice as you kill, severing ligaments and tendons without touching bone.
Battle royal or King of the hill, depends on curriculum
Finnish Battle Royale(or the poor man's version, hunger games)
Would definitely make defending your thesis a lot more fun.
Well my defensive bladework is my specialty, so joke works even better congratulations.
I would love to hear more about bladesports and your defensive bladework, especially because I'm thinking of rollerblading, and how cool defensive rollerbladework is, like in the end of Brink! when Val from Team X-Blades kept trying to wreck everyone.
I'm small and dinky and not very fast, there is no way I could have defended by combat.
This lady had it better, she got a rapier instead of the shitty tiny sable-like sword that is customary for the Finnish.
Fencer here, I would like to accompany you on this
As a PhD student, I would prefer to fight instead of discuss to defend my thesis.
The best thesis defense is a good thesis offense
Jesus, XKCD really does have a strip for every occasion.
Speaking of offensive defenses, my professor claimed he once witnessed a defense where the student just whipped out his dick and slammed it on the projector with "Any questions?!"
"Well is there any prior work..." - prof
Why go for a thesis defense when you can go on a thesis offense?
This has to have a relevant XKCD
Intellectual debates must be a bloody affair.
But do it like the pirates in Monkey Island. "You fight like a farmer." "How fitting, you fight like a cow." swords clashing
This is further proof that it's not how you start but how you Finnish.
Thank God. I saw this on another post and no one launched the appropriate pun. I thought I was gonna have to do it.
And since I wanna be the one doing it it means imma take my 3 inches sword and Finnish myself
Norse to see a good pun here.
Finns arent norse, not linguistically nor culturally.
They got their own thing about some magic breadmaker
Idk, Finnish, Norse—to me they’re all the Sami.
SIGH - Take the upvote and get out
But they’re from up Norse.
This is why I've sworn that if I ever actually go for a PhD, it will be at a Finnish university. I will get a PhD sword if it's the last thing I do haha.
You actually have to buy the hat and the sword yourself. And for every area of experties there is a different hat. but it's a combo wombo item that you get a when you are about to get out. the sword can cost from 250 to 500 euros depending on the university that you went to and how much they are willing to pay for your sword. usually the bigger universitys are willing to pay more just because. Oh and you dont have to get these items but you know who wouldn't
Yeah, I remember reading elsewhere that you have to pay - I don't care about that part. I'd view it the same as paying to get a good frame for your parchment.
There is, however, a big difference between "I bought a sword because whatever" and "this is my PhD sword". That's what I care about lol
well jeah you cannot actually buy the PhD sword without getting a PhD. or the hat.
checks DHgate for PhD sword reps
aliexpress chinese knock of PhD sword?
Sure you can. It’s not like the hatmaker/jeweller asks to see your diploma (at least mine didn’t).
It’s not really a PhD sword if you get it without a PhD though is it
any schmuck can buy a dopey ol’ sword. It’s not a PhD sword without the PhD.
They ask your name, school and your phd so I assume they check with the school?
It seemed to me that was more about the engraving on the sword and the type of hat (which varies by university and faculty), since they only asked my name, degree and university (no faculty/department or other signifiers). But you’re right, I suppose it’s possible they do that.
Who else gets to hear the question, ""Is that a sword?"
And answer "Yeah, I got it when I took my PhD."
"this is my PhD sword"
"this is my PhD sword"
anyway on the left you can see my bachelor dagger and above that is my master axe.
What they never expect coming is the associate’s garrotte
When the university is basically free, you surely can afford 500€ for cool shit.
You... You get frames for your parchment?...
Mine is somewhere in one of my drawers...
Are you entitled to wear the sword at later graduation ceremonies? Whenever someone goes to a grad ceremony to present an award (for instance), they are supposed to wear the gown and hood from the university they attended.
Who is going to argue with a person in a robe with a sword.
Yes, that's pretty much it. Finnish law doesn't exactly allow for carrying swords in public, so your options for showing it off to others are slightly limited x)
Yep. Thats the only time youd wear it
You can wear it to appropriate events given a good reason, the events can't generally be in totally public.
You can however leave and travel with it publicly if you are going straight where you need to go if you have a reasonable reason.
Sure hope nobody gets confused and throws their swords in the air instead of their hats
I was at a grad ceremony in the usa and i saw, among all the 'normal' professors with the cap and gown, one with the hat and sword. badass!
The sword and the hat are tax deductible though, so there’s that at least.
At least you have an excuse to buy a sword
In Sweden, you don’t get a sword but instead you get a golden ring in the style of a laurel, to be worn on your ring finger (along with your wedding ring if married), to symbolise your commitment to science and education. I think they’re so cool!!
Edit: there are also different designs (with the laurel usually being reserved for natural sciences) because I think sometimes you get a ring for bachelors or masters exams too. Here are from left to right: civil engineering exam, technology doctorate, philosophy doctorate. But my absolute favourite is clearly this one from Chalmers university in Gothenburg, the Maritime Captain/Engineer Graduation Ring. HOW COOL IS THAT.
That's also really cool! I love traditions like these, they're unique items that symbolize accomplishments, like the iron ring that is worn by many Canadian engineers.
We copied that here in the states except its stainless steel here. I just got mine a few months ago
its stainless steel in Canada too, it's just called the iron ring because of history
I've never heard of that. Must be a university thing.
Yeah I don’t know if it’s everywhere but I know Uppsala, Lund, Chalmers, Luleå all do it? But I only heard of it recently too, so it’s definitely not always the norm. I also think that, like the sword, it’s something you opt in for. Here is the Swedish wiki page on it: https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doktorsring
It used to be norm but like almost all old academic traditions it was largely dropped in the 60s. It's been having a renaissance lately though.
Another tradition that was largely dropped is white tie parties. As far as I know physics at KTH are the only ones still doing it regularly.
I think UU still do it sometimes... at least I know people who have been at UU in the last few years who have attended them. But it might be based on societies rather than departments.
You're right! It seems they simply never invite me to them :) I've only ever been in regular informal wear.
Huh, no one at Chalmers has mentioned that to me so far.
That is totally a magical item.
But they were, all of them, deceived, for another ring was made...
You will get to *pay* for your own sword and a silly hat.
You can see the different swords (well, same sword, different emblem per university) here:
I wanted a sword too! I got a piece of paper instead.
Same. But also a fancy lab coat that I’ve worn like never
and a stupid square hat
Mine was a stupid beret type affair. It looked better on everyone else! (I have a series of 3 photos of my wife, my mum and my sister with their arms around each other. In each photo my hat moves along the line. They're great photos and all of them suit my hat better than me)
I feel robbed by the lack of a PhD sword.
I got a piece of A4 sized paper. Not even a big ass certificate that you can mount on a wall and impress strangers with.
I'm beginning to think that the bigger the certificate the less impressive the degree is.
you have the poweeeerrrrrrrr!
I heard that with music!
Did you ask Indigo Montoya's father to make it?
I’ve never seen it’s equal.
"I would as soon destroy a stained glass window as an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you follow me either."
"Please know, I hold you in the greatest respect."
I came here for The Princess Bride comments
The well-known rouge.
You don’t happen to have six fingers on your right hand do you?
Do you always begin conversations this way?
Well. Off I go to get my doctorate. Masters is finished already, should I have gotten a dagger?
Dagger is for bachelors. You need a full body armor.
I like your style friend. Full armor it is, and the sword shall be my crowning glory.
Masters get a laurel crown and a ring. I would prefer dagger.
holy fuck where does she live, that place is beautiful
That there is Bristol - just off Station Road by the Arches 😁 cheers me dearies 👍🏻
Cheers me babbers
That's very Worcestershire.
I would guess somewhere in the UK because of the Look of that chimney. I've only ever seen them like that there.
I was going to say UK from how everything just looks kind of damp.
It looks like the UK to me. Also, it’s probably more likely that a British student would be aware that the Finns issue swords than, say, an American would
well i mean... im pretty sure nobody thinks that's america. lol
It reminded me of Florence especially with the bridge in the background
I'm glad somebody else noticed the background I thought I was the only one who zoomed in and looked around lol
Not all universities in Finland. Sword is not part of the tradition in technical universities e.g., Aalto where I study. Plus they don't give them to you... The sword costs ~300€ and the tophat is ~600€.
Although, I'm still going to buy myself a sword. \o/
Lol the hat is twice as expensive as the sword??
The hat is usually handmade by a milliner and is very customized and quite complicated.
But it's a nice custom-made hat. :P
Fun fact: during the defense, the hat is there for the whole time and it is carried ceremoniously in. BUT the hat is usually not the defenders, but is actually borrowed from the custos (e.g. often your supervising professor). This is because we are poor fucks, and not all want to buy the hat anyway.
I wanna see what the top hat look like.
Blog post on the items (with photos!): Doctoral hats and swords.
Here's way more info: Doing a PhD in Finland.
I know there was a catch haha, had to scroll down to find your comment.
Swords are the superior gift.
They can be beautiful, functional, serve as self defense, and are great conversational starters.
nice for eating cheese too
Swords are very versatile.
This is some amazing “I see you” action from her partner!
100% Such a thoughtful and loving gift.
Your first act should be to knight him
Since it’s academia shouldn’t it be a pen?
Now you see the violence inherent in the system.
What’s a Briton?
Well, we all are! We are all Britons! And I am your king.
I didn't vote for you.
That's the difference between a king and a president.
*reaches for a sword rising from a pond*
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Swords make so much sense, actually. Even in tarot, sword stands for intellect, the element of air
Maybe it’s for a Doctoral PhD, in which case the sword is used for surgery or to fight that snake in the emblem.
Frankly, it should be something entirely harmless.
Far too tempting to kill your advisor if they are hooding you and you're holding a sword. Even a pen might be too much temptation.
Well we know it’s not a PhD in Communications where the fundamental belief is the pen is mightier than the sword.
It's a sword because you have studied and cut through to the truth.
I can't help but hear the Zelda sound when link opens a treasure chest
See I just heard "for the power of Greyskull!"
I feel like in Finland you may have to continue defending your thesis...
That's literally what it symbolises, along with defending knowledge as a whole.
sigh, another riposte...
My initial reaction was to say, "Marry that guy! He's a keeper!" Then I realized she already married him...
So anyway, what a guy! And what an achievement on her part! No joke getting a PHD!!
I'm glad someone else also noticed. I read it a few times before I understood what she meant.
And she's a PhD candidate lol
My thought exactly
I think a lot more people would do PhDs in America if they got swords.
We do guns here. USA! USA! USA!
The United States already has a lot of PhD graduates (71,000 in 2017, the most in the world by miles). If anything, we need fewer people doing doctorates because the academic job market is overloaded.
She also got the gift of a Photoshop Battle
If you told me I'd get a sword for graduating college I'd never have flunked out.
Does she know she's dressed like Waluigi?
I have a few pairs of those specific dungarees and my husband will only refer to me as Mario when I wear the blue ones! Extremely comfy tho, would recommend
My dad asked me what I wanted my graduation present to be. I now know what to tell him
By the power of grayskull!!
She-ra says - For the Honor of Grayskull....!
That's awesome! All I got for my PhD was crippling depression and a general sense of academic inadequacy...
Don’t sweat it, Doc, it’s an amazing achievement!
That is a beautiful sword!
The American equivalent to this is: "congrats on your PhD, here's your academic AR-15."
Funding is tight. You get a Hi-point 9, at best.
Congratulations to this lady on the PhD and cool sword!
Can we just make getting swords for special occasions a thing now?
C’est une rapière. Faquin.
Even though thrusting swords are not exactly my type, i really want this Rapier.
Putting “he got me a sword” in asterisks makes it seem like a euphemism
Wait... they give Finnish PhD students freaking SWORDS when they graduate??? I just got a freaking hood! And the title of doctor, which is admittedly cool, but STILL! I want a freaking sword!
You are ”allowed to wear one in academic ceremonies”, technically. You have to buy it yourself. The hat too, though you can usually write it off as work-related expenses (if you work in academia).
You get a top hat too. However they don't just hand you free stuff, you pay for it (the sword goes for somewhere around 300€, the hat roughly 600€).
I'm not going to lie, I'd rather pay for a top hat and a sword then a fairly useless robe and tasseled hat outfit.
I can’t believe we’re stuck with cap and gown when it could be sword and top hat :(
I just hope he didn’t steal it from a six fingered man
I want a sword now.
YES! Let’s celebrate you. #SWORDSFOREVER#
How do you order a sword online
You will look like a student in no time... A Heidelberg student, that is.